Dear Target, you’ve ruined Christmas.

By Sunday, December 15, 2013 1 , , Permalink 0

Dear Target,

You know I love you. We’ve been friends for many years, so I feel like I can be completely honest with you. I did enjoy our visit yesterday. However, I was very disturbed by something I saw while I was there. Yes, you had some lovely items on clearance and you did have that cute cardigan I’ve had my eye on. But when I saw these items hanging on the rack, I was like a deer in the shine of headlights. Swimsuits. I’m talking about the swimsuits.

Did you forget that it’s 32 degrees outside? Did you forget that the wind is blowing 15-25 mph from the North? But most of all, did you forget that it’s December and Christmas hasn’t even happened yet? I have yet to open a single gift! Your swimsuit racks are ruining Christmas. I still have holiday parades, light shows and parties to attend. That means fudge, appetizers, candy, cakes, hot chocolate bars with marshmallows and candy canes, peanut brittle, more fudge, divinity, cookies, cheesecake and more fudge that MUST be eaten. Swimsuits don’t belong here…I have weight to gain. I’ve waited all year to eat like this and you are ruining the joy of my long awaited fudgeapalooza.

So, we are officially on a friend time out. I cannot look at your swimsuit tainted presence. At least until I’m ready to spend my gift cards I will receive for Christmas. Maybe I’ll spend it on fudge.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,